Sunday, 18 September 2011

A kajumble of emotions

Last Thursday, after receiving the news that my 6 week maternity cover had fallen through, the day before I was to start, and with a week of emotional ups and downs, I sat, cross-legged and heavy hearted on the huge comfy chair in my living room, with the yellow rose I cut from our rose bush out front in a beer bottle vase in my lap, my nose buried in the centre of the soft pedals, inhaling the powerful, soothing sent of the rose.  This helps bring the soft tears I need to expel and then sooths me back to a state of calm.
A gift from nature. So simple and perfect.
You will be great.
The first three weeks of my time in the UK have been wonderful and much of my positive experience can be attributed to my companionship and time spent with Matt. We shared many laughs, great conversations and both extravagant as well as simple lovely experiences together- from wine on the cobble stone road next to Covent Garden Market, to simply laying, talking in the park or walking and laughing down Broadway Street as we struggle to consume our snack of "strawberries and cream on-the-go". 
Like myself, Matt is just beginning a new and very exciting chapter in his life. He has moved to Bristol to begin his university program to become a Paramedic.  I will miss Matt, my charming British gent, who showed me many gems of London, educated me on key British terms/mannerisms and “took the piss” out of my Canadian accent.
British Terminology: “Taking the piss”
Definition: to make fun of/poke fun/teasing between friends
During our time spent together, Matt shared with me much about his time and hardship in the military.  Being confronted with death. Witnessing, feeling the threat, deterioration and loss of lives- flesh, blood, bodies. I can’t imagine.  As he shared his motives and passions behind his career goals it became clear to me that he is exactly where he needs to be. I admire him so much. He offers the world so much wisdom and courage, and will truly make a difference both as a paramedic and person.
Dear Matt,
You will be great.

Our Flat… Personified!
With our landlords (a newly married Turkish couple) in Turkey for the first month of our tendency, and the landladies younger brother, in the primary stages of learning English, left behind to carry out repairs and deal with issues, my lovely flatmates and I often share in feelings of utter frustration by the growing list of issues and annoyances with our home.  We do our best to respect the landlords’ wishes despite this…

Yesterday, my flatmate, Thom, and I began to personify our hair-pulling yet endearing household… Since, I have been pondering how to perfectly explain the “personality” of our flat. I have come up with the following…

1.       Its name is Charles.
2.       Charles has a mood disorder: Bipolar
*Manic episodes- Charles gets overzealous and wets himself often (when showering, water leaks down through the house to the ground/1st floor… Charles needs some chalking…) 
*Depressive episodes- Charles gets overworked and over stressed and shuts down completely (two electrical system overloads thus far)… He is VERY difficult to pull out of this state and requires extra assistance… If only our landlord’s brother better understood Charles… Then maybe he could keep Charles from getting so low… 
3.       Charles feels incomplete… (he still requires a little table in the lounge- Temporary, saggy Mrs. Box is on her last legs…) He also feels a little overexposed and in some areas… (i.e. needs curtains)
4.       Charles has some endearing qualities…
*Despite his dirty, dishevelled exterior, he has a lot of potential to clean up real nice… He just needs some major tidying, trimming and bush removal… ha. bush.
*Charles is bright. (Nice big windows for the sunshine to pour in through)
*Charles lives in a wicked area of London England- hip and trendy, young and fun.
*Even though Charles mood is shifting constantly he is filled to the brim with love. (aka lovely loving roomies… super cheese, I know.)  
Let me introduce you briefly to the lovely folks I live with…
1.       Rachel- A “Northern girl”…Recent graduate in textiles- while seeking work in her field she is tortured by her work at a call centre where she is told to be pushy and the threat of her job is held over her head based on numbers/sales made- ew. Rachel is creative, fun and chatty… We made origami lions together. This says a lot about how well we will get along.  
2.       Kate- Also a "Northern girl"... Recent graduate in Market Research- working in her field. - She is warm, genuine and very lovely to be around.
*Kate and Rachel are long-time friends… Both have been so sweet and inviting.
3.       Stavros- Web designer- Lovely Greek- He likes to cook and garden… We’re going to get along just fine!
4.       Kat- Works in Cambridge- commutes everyday- 12hrs = travel + work per day… CRAZY. She is a musician and really chill to be around.
5.       Thom- About to begin his 2nd year in University studying Creative Industries- which is highly tied into  the music industry and other modes of media and management.  He is a musician and ultimately hopes to follow this passion. He has great insight into people and the world around him so we get along swimmingly and have great conversations! 
6.       Jon- Student in English, particularly creative writing… musician/free spirit 
Sometimes we just need a hug.
Beth needs a hug.
You know when you just want the pressure of someones body surrounding your body. I want this. From head to toe. A big fucking hug. A sustained hug for as long as it takes for me to feel the way I need. I need this weight lifted. I need my heavy heart to get up and dance.
I think next week will make my heart dance. I know it. :)

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